The Humor of Getting Older

Joan Collins once said, “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”

When we are younger, we long to be older so we can be more independent.  Somewhere along our timelines we stop wanting to be older and long to be younger, if only for a day. I am now closer to 50 and believe me… the signs are there.  Instead of getting down about it, I have chosen to look for the humor.

You know you are getting older when…

  • Date night with your spouse is dinner and a trip to Target for pet food, laundry soap, and various other cleaning supplies.
  • Getting a new appliance is the highlight of your week.  I become absolutely giddy when I get a new vacuum.
  • You pull a muscle ripping a paper towel off the roll. Yes, this really did happen to me.
  • Tendonitis, Gout, Sciatica, and Bursitis become words used to describe your aches and pains.  (I used to call them “old people” problems)
  • The scent of Icy Hot takes the place of your perfume.
  • You don’t fast forward through the commercials for adult diapers. Trust me after 4 kids, just sneezing becomes a bladder issue.
  • You check out books from the “large print” section in the library.
  • Searching for your reading glasses becomes a daily activity, only to find them on the top of your head.
  • You are kid-free for a whole day and the first thing you and your spouse want to do is take a nap.
  • The volume on the TV is all the way up – loud enough that your kids actually say something to you.
  • You consider buying tennis shoes that have no laces, to avoid having to bend over and tie them.  (My daughter cringes every time I put on my no lace tennis shoes.  I always respond with “At least they are not velcro!”)
  • The creaking sound on the stairs is not the floor, but your knees as you walk up.
  • Your daughter reminds you to make a hair appointment to color over the gray stripe you have forming in your hairline.
  • Your daughter introduces you to her new friend and mother… and you realize that you were the mom’s 8th grade teacher (this has happened to me more than once).
  • “Sleeping in” means making it to 6 AM.
  • When someone asks you how old you are and you have to check with 2 other sources to make sure you are right.
  • When scolding your pets, you call them by one of the kid’s names or visa versa.

These are just a few of the things I have noticed about getting older.  While I am no longer a big fan of my birthday, I do believe you are only as old as you think you are.  Enjoy life, have fun, and grow old gracefully.


About The Author


Mom of 5 amazing kids, married to Shawn, retired teacher of 19 years, cares for a total of 9 pets (3 frisky cats and 6 great-tempered dogs), daughter, really amateur photographer, photoshopper, a football, wrestling, track, baseball, dance, and tumbling mom, zazzle designer, constant dieter, handles the budget, hates to cook, addicted to coffee, trying-to-quit smoker, TV potato, and passionate about writing.


  1. Dermott Hayes | 28th Jul 16

    Je ne regret rien…that’s getting old with a smile and sure, a few aches, well earned.

    • tamarasuz | 28th Jul 16

      I like that! I have also found that with getting older… sleeping in is a rare thing.

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